Cock Dreams

Last night was amazing! Lee and I spent the evening talking kink...
Now, just for clarification, both us are are somewhat new to this kind of a relationship, so it was good to just talk about what we are interested in. It was illuminating to hear what Lee would be into doing and I know he liked hearing what I would be up for! Our mutual list, and this is sure to grow in the future (this list included stuff we have already done). Here goes: restraints, anal, nipple/clit clamps, electrical play, caging, chastity belt, OTK, corner time, leash/collar play, exploring more deeply the Master/slave relationship, watersports (we both have some pretty strict boundaries around this), cock worship, fetish clothing, dungeon play (inflicting pain while in bondage), him withholding orgasms from me as punishment and play. WHEE!
Needless to say, after all this talk, we were both pretty horned up, and the sex was wonderful; but what happened after was best of all.
I love to suck cock, always have, and I have harbored a fantasy about just sleeping with it in my mouth. I alluded to it in a previous post.
Well last night I GOT TO DO IT! Yay! Lee fell asleep as I gently held his cock in my mouth after sex. It was very relaxing for me too, as I needed to lay still, and relax my jaw. I dozed off, with the head of his shaft resting between my lips, and he was sound asleep. When I woke up, I wiggled up to my sleeping place beside him. It was truly delicious and wonderful! I hope he decides to make it a regular ritual!

Domestic Discipline

From LDD Blog:
"So discipline might occur every day, or every week, or every month, depending on what the couple agree is necessary or depending on what the Man decides is necessary for the woman."


Ok, so I realize this might sound absolutely horrendous to some of you reading, but this turns me on. Go figure. Yeah, I think I need to get spanked on a regular basis, just to remind me who is in charge of this Home. Do I feel like I am "less" of a partner in this relationship? NO! Emphatically NO. I realize I can be mouthy, bratty, and a handful at times. I doubt any amount of spanking would break me completely of these habits, as I don't want to be... but every now and again I do need some strict discipline.
The other night, I think it was last week... I didn't wear panties, even though I was wearing a skirt. I was on my way to work, and left my clean panties on the bathroom counter where I knew Lee would find them. When I left, I gave Lee a kiss and whispered that I wasn't wearing underwear. I thought he might not like it, but then maybe he wouldn't care so much.
When I got home everything was okay, until later. I came out of the shower, and Lee was sitting in bed reading. I was asked why I didn't wear underwear (to which I had no real good answer, except to be a Brat)...
I was promptly taken over the knee and spanked hard on my bare ass with his hand. Lee is quite firm, as his hands are big and heavy. After my spanking, I was told to stand in the corner. My ass was sore and red, and I felt ashamed of myself for my behavior. He sat on the bed and read some more of his book, then got up for some water. I didn't even think to get out of the corner!
When he got back he told me why he spanked me (no panties is kinda slutty), and then we fucked.
Now, I was WAAAY turned on by 1. He cared that I had no underwear on because I was His. 2. Being tossed over his knee, naked, and getting spanked left me very wet. **sigh** 3. Standing in the corner, and the shame I felt was a huge turn on too. The fucking that went on after was just the icing on a delicious cake!
I am no longer thinking about Why this turns me on or Why this is so gratifying sexually and emotionally, I just know that it Is.
Thank you Lee for caring enough to Take Me In Hand.

Journal # 2

Dated 10/22/09 5:33pm

I am NOT wearing panties. I am naked under these pants and what are you going to do about that? I know I am being bratty but I love the discipline.
Fantasy or Reality?
Stripped, spanked, made to sit in the corner until you feel it's enough. Of course you are fully dressed while you spank me over your knee. Then fuck me. Fuck me how ever you want. Tell me what you want me to do, for I am pliant and willing. I love you.

Hi!

Just an introduction... I live in California with Lee, my BF, which sounds ridiculous since we are far from being in high school. Lee and I love, live, and work together. This is not too much time together; I would spend more time with him if I could! I am very happy being the submissive in our relationship.
I have always battled with my need to be dominated. At the time I came into my adulthood, women were being told that they should go to college, get a career, and get out into the workforce. Women were expected to be in control of themselves and their careers. Men were your equal, and in NO way should you ever even think of letting yourself be controlled or dominated by any man for ANY reason.
I grew up in a very normal, nuclear family, with a father who worked and a mother who stayed home. My mother's frustration with her life (she wanted a career and family, my father was not supportive of her need to work outside the home)imprinted itself on me. I was confused by the notion that my need to be submissive meant there was something wrong with me.
What I was not supposed to want was a relationship in which the man in my life was the dominant partner in the relationship. I was not supposed to need to be punished for my bratty behavior and flirtatiousness. It was wrong to want to be treated like a princess, and being tossed over a knee and spanked was inconceiveable.
Yes, I am independent and intelligent. At work I have many responsibilites and am perceived as being opinionated, outgoing, and cunty at times. I have no problem speaking up for myself, or stating my position on any topic. I don't like to have to answer to people when I know I am right. I can be stubborn and rude.
However, I still need for Lee to assert his Dominance over me... sexually, physically and emotionally. More on this later...
I don't see why I can't be both, and it has taken me a long time to figure this out!